Pop Goes the Weasel ...
... okay, so I'm watching NYPD Blues on ABC on 10/28/97 and Andy asks Bobby, "So, what does that mean, 'Pop goes the Weasel?'" Of course Bobby gives a little look as if to say "Geez, what now?" So, the theme runs throughout the show. They keep asking suspects, co-workers, etc. the same question. And, I gotta ask, what the hell does this mean??? We all grew up with this nursery rhyme and many of you have sung it to your kids. What does it mean when the weasel goes "Pop!" Andy decides that it's so old that it can't mean, like, on the street when someone gets "popped" (killed). And, is it "'round and 'round the mulberry bush" or is "'round and 'round the cobbler's bench" that the monkey chases the weasel? I don't remember. And, since when did monkeys chase weasels? And, what the heck did the weasel do to deserve all this chasing? Did the weasel just expire from being pursued? From over-exertion? From depression? Perhaps exceeding the speed of light in eluding pursuit? That would sure make you go "POP!"
Why do we drive on a "parkway" and park on a "driveway"?
Why is there air? "To blow up basketballs!" - Bill Cosby
On 3/26/97, the TV show EXTRA announced that on the next show we would consider the question, "Should the state of Florida stop executing criminals until they fix their electric chair?"
As the great prophet Murphy (or one of his disciples) said:
In the March 28, 1997 edition of the Wall Street Journal, on a story about standardized testing of Michigan high school students, it was reported that most schools no longer teach writing. Now, this is a pretty dramatic statement. But, what I found most amazing is that there was no comment, expansion or discussion about the significance of this issue. It was just a throw-away line. Go figure.
The Easter Bunny
EXCERPTS FROM GEORGE CARLIN'S BOOK
"When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person."
"Weyerhauser, a company that makes its money by cutting down trees, calls itself 'the tree-growing company.'"
"If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work."
"How likely is it that all the people who are described as missing are living together in a small town somewhere?
"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
"Why do foreign soldiers march funny? Do they think we march funny? If we do, how would we know?
"Try explaining Hitler to a kid."
"Why do we turn lights 'out' when we turn most other things 'off'?"
"Can you have just one antic? How about a lone shenanigan? A monkeyshine?
"You show me the people who control the money, the land, and the weapons, and I'll show you the people in charge."
"We're all amateurs: it's just that some of us are more professional about it than others."
"I think we should attack Russia now. They'd never expect it."
"I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious."
"When you find existing time on a parking meter, you should be able to add it to the end of your life. Minus the time you spent on hold."
"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."
"There ought to be at least one round state."
"'Best Seller' really only means 'good seller.' There can only be one best seller. All the rest are good sellers. Each succeeding book on the list is a 'better seller.'"
"The word "bipartisan" usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"Just think. Right now, all over the world, there are people exercising bad judgment. Somebody, right this minute, is probably making the mistake of his life."
(Thanks to Toni! - 5/97)
"And this, too, shall pass." - Mom
"I have been wearing polka-dot underwear." - Gordon Lightfoot
"I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Unknown
Copyright 1997, Edmund J. Mullen